Finding Motivation and Making Things Happen
Walk through most any bookshop these days and the self-help section shelves are heavy with books telling us how to get more done every day, how if you imagine untold riches they will appear as if by magic and all sorts of secrets on how to live a more productive and motivated life.Seize The Day
So if all this information is available, why are so many of us so bad at keeping to even the simplest of New Year’s Resolutions? With August upon us, can you even remember what you said you were going to achieve last January?
Watching any major sporting event and it’s obvious that those competing have combined an awesome combination of talent and motivation to succeed, so where can we start in motivating us to success.
Probably the most famous theory of motivation put forward is that of American psychologist, Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) who wrote of the Hierarchy of Human Needs. In this theory, Maslow suggested that although human beings have wants, needs and desires which will dictate and influence their behaviour. But importantly, he suggested that only when those needs, wants and desires were unsatisfied and not met, would the person be motivated to change their situation.
When a need or want was met, then the next need or want could be addressed. So, how do you use this to get things done? In the world we live in, most of our basic needs for survival such as shelter, food, water are met easily so that leaves us with time to concentrate on those further up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It is essential to concentrate on those needs but one very effective method of both kick starting your motivation , is to imagine the consequences should you not choose to follow your plan.
Don’t just think about the consequences of failure once and then move on to other things. Really immerse yourself in what you would think and feel and do, if you fail in your task. For someone trying to diet, they may immerse themselves in the feeling of not being able to sit by the pool on the summer holiday as they feel too uncomfortable in their swimsuit. For someone who finds it hard to curb excessive spending, they may imagine the embarrassment of the bailiffs turning up at their door when they can’t pay the bill. For someone who has just failed their driving test for the third time and is thinking about giving up permanently, they may think about a lifetime of not being able to ‘jump in the car’ and drive anywhere at a moment’s notice.
So, now you know why you want to carry on with your goal, how do you get there. Many people are advised to set goals and that is a brilliant idea if we look at how to set achievable goals. Many people set the goal ’I want to be rich.’ But let’s quantify that a little to make it achievable! Firstly, let’s put some time goals around it – better to write something like, ‘by August 2010, I will have paid off my credit card, be out of the red at the bank and be saving £250 per month, then by August 2011 my savings will be £5,000 and I will increase this by £2,000 every year.
Secondly, let’s look at how to make that happen. If nothing else changes in your life, that goal of being rich probably won’t happen. Think of five or more steps to make it happen. Get an extra job, cut my weekly shopping bill by £80 each week etc.
And lastly, be very specific about what your goal means to you and motivation will come more easily. If you are saying, ‘I want to be rich,’ make a full and complete list of everything that statement means toyou. Freedom to holiday, giving to charity, diamonds, helping your family, more sleep, sports cars! It will be different for each person.
Whatever your goal, above all, remember to make the first steps and not regret having not tried.Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw away the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark TwainFinding Motivation and Making Things Happen
by Adele O’Toole CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLES<
Hypnotherapy and It’s Uses
Looking at the increasingly popular Hypnotherapy…. What it is? What it can do? Why we shouldn’t be frightened of it?hypnosis
More than most therapies, hypnosis elicits jokes, mistrust and a certain fear factor. Visions of swinging watches and stage shows of people doing inappropriate acts still loom large in the mind! You need NOT fear!
The early work of Franz Mesmer (1734-1815) gave rise to the beginnings of hypnotism, as we know it today. The word ‘mesmerized’ derives from his name. The term hypnosis is derived from the Greek words for ‘sleep and state’, and this may be responsible for some of the misunderstandings regarding hypnosis. The phrases and words, ‘going under’ and ‘waking up out of hypnosis’, give the impression the mind is asleep – but far from it. Most hypnotists would agree that the conscious mind is indeed very active whilst in a hypnotic state and at any given time the person being hypnotised can act on their own free will, get up and have full control of the thoughts and actions.
Hypnotherapy is simply the utilisation of positive therapy whilst in the state of hypnosis to achieve affirmative benefits for the individual.
When used properly by the right hypnotherapist, in the right circumstances, it is an invaluable therapy for the release of phobias, in helping addictions such as stopping smoking, losing weight, learning to relax, ‘unprogramming’ the mind of negative thought processes, increasing self confidence, helping combat insomnia, overcoming panic attacks…. to name just a very few areas where hypnosis can make a real difference.How to Choose a Therapist?
As in any therapy choosing the correct therapist for you is essential. The best hypnotherapist will have undertaken studies to reach a suitable level of proficiency, including completing hands on practice; they should also be a member of a regulatory body such as the GHR or LHS and have professional indemnity insurance.
Any therapist who has all these will be more than willing to show you their qualifications and insurance.
When making that initial phone call it helps to have a clear idea of what you are seeking from hypnotherapy. The more information you can give, the more the hypnotherapist can help you. Find out how much the session will cost and choose someone you feel comfortable talking to.
What Happens at the session?
Some therapists offer an initial consultation; others begin therapy from session one onwards.
During the initial session, the therapist will want to find out more about you. Your history or life story! Some may ask medical questions but these will be generalised to any history of heart disease, strokes, epilepsy or perhaps any medications you are taking.
The therapist will want to establish what you wish to achieve at the session.
Some treatments such as stopping smoking follow a course of treatment, but others such as nail biting, anxiety or lack of confidence will require a degree of discussion into when the problems began, what if anything makes them worse or better.
People are often fearful of the ‘hypnotic state’ and ask questions such as ‘what will it feel like?’ The true answer to that is it will feel like a very pleasant daydream.
The most common responses when you ask someone what was it like, is “just like the time in the few seconds before I fall asleep” and, “like floating on a cloud”, and, “so peaceful – I could move but I couldn’t be bothered to” and, “I wish I could stay there all day”.
It is very rare that anyone has an adverse reaction. Most people enjoy it and can’t wait to come back!
Whilst you are in a ‘hypnotic state’, the therapist then begins the process of therapy.
Imagine the subconscious mind as being in the middle of a castle, and all day and night it is protected by a moat with soldiers ready to fire bows and arrows. These protective factors are the conscious mind. Now imagine in the hypnotic state, the drawbridge to the castle drops down and the soldiers very temporarily go to sleep! The subconscious mind is free, willing and able to accept the positive suggestions the therapist will make. Simple, effective and long lasting.
When therapy is over you will feel, rested, relaxed and those changes will keep on working.Does it work for Everyone?
The simple answer: If you want change in your life, you will facilitate change.
If you really don’t want to change, then life will probably stay much as it was before.
What else can it be used for?
If you have a baby on the way, look out for hypnotherapists who work with expectant mothers to make the birth easier. Or, indeed, if you are trying for a baby, sometimes the main cause is anxiety and hypnotherapy can work extremely well to overcome this. Other hypnotherapists specialise in pain management for chronic and acute conditions. Past Life Regression under hypnosis is gaining huge popularity with its ability to explain and release limiting behavioural patterns.
The Results
Hypnosis as a therapy is very effective and people of all ages and walks of life have amazing results in a variety of cases; relief from IBS to panic attacks to low self-esteem and insomnia.Remember
Give it a try, pick up your phone and find a local hypnotherapist. It certainly won’t harm you and it most probably could help you.
By Adele O’Toole. Adele is a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist , with expertise in many areas, including coping with change, family relationships and relationship challenges. To contact Adele call 0778 608 2463 CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLES
Three Ways to Find Happiness
If someone could invent the mathmatical equation for guaranteed happiness – they would undoubtedly end up more famous than Einstein with his E=Mc2 formula. We all crave happiness, we often say of our children, ‘I don’t mind what my little John or Jane ends up doing as long as they are happy,’ but where can we find it?True Happiness
But perhaps Eric Idle of Monty Python fame was not so wide of the mark in the lyrics to his famous ‘The Life of Brian’ song, ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.’ ?
If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten,
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That’s the thing.
And…Always look on the bright side of life.
Maybe being happy is simply about looking on the bright side of life. In our upcoming series,’Happiness and Where to Find it’ we will examine why society is so unhappy and where, as individuals we can change our happiness quotient. But for now, let’s look at some simple steps to start us on the road to happiness.
1. First of all, make a conscious decision to get off the unhappiness bandwagon. How many people do you know who buy a one-way ticket, travelling the road to nowhere on the bus called despair? STOP! THINK! The next time someone asks you, “How are you?” How about smiling and answering, “I’m absolutely great – couldn’t be better!” ? I personally feel happy just writing those words. We’re programmed to mumble, ‘Fine, been better but musn’t moan…”
What you say and think is usually what you will end up feeling.
2. Don’t tap into everyone elses misery! Some people may think that sounds selfish but I’m not talking about losing compassion for those in need simply not engaging in others misery when perhaps they need to look at it first. When they have worked out why they’re unhappy, you can offer help and wisdom where appropriate but don’t try and solve the world’s problems singlehanded.
3. Be Grateful! We can probably all remember a teacher or parent chastising us for asking for more or not showing appreciation for what we were given but the gratitude I’m talking about is simply that unconditional sense of thankfulness, love and appreciation for what and who we have in our life.
Sometimes I will ask a client to write a list of everything he or she is grateful for and they will offer back a list of about 10 things – my husband or wife, my children, my football club, Eastenders (yes, I’ve seen it written!), my car etc etc. Then I ask them to expand their list to 250 items. After their look of disbelief we start on their list and the results are amazing: a gentleman who was grateful for the delphiniums grow in his garden every June as it reminded him of his first meeting with his wife, the lady who was grateful when her local M&S brought back her favourite flavour of yoghurt after she wrote to them. Maybe small things to the rest of the world but happy things to these people.
One man simply had one thing on his list –‘waking up in the morning , because lots of people don’t.’ We didn’t need to expand on his list, I think he had captured the essence of what we were trying to do.
This is not an exercise in making you feel small and thinking,’Goodness, I’m so lucky, I had better not say anything.’ It’s about focussing on the wonderful things around you and developing an unshakable sense of appreciation of the good things in all of our lives.
Try out your list and see if you can start the happy thoughts flowing. And remember, ‘always look on the bright side of life,’ keeping humming that tune!Three Ways to Find Happiness
by Adele O’Toole CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLES
